
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3617064.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      Other
  Fandom:
      Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer
  Character:
      Xander_Harris
  Additional Tags:
      Accidental_Masturbation, Wrong_bag_-_thanks_Mom
  Series:
      Part 1 of Playtime
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-03-26 Words: 2452
****** A Cure for What Ails You ******
by Rowaine
Summary
     Everyone's got a kink or two -- Xander's was started by a misplaced
     shopping bag and ambiguous instructions.
I'm sorta nervous about posting this, but not enough to keep me from doing it
*lol*

A_pre-story_warning (intended for those of our viewing audience who jump from
title to fic without reading the info in between) -- the following story
involves a character under the legal age of consent in a sexual situation.
Granted, he's only playing with himself, so no one's corrupting him *yet*, but
thought you all should know.
 

Series: Playtime

Title: A Cure for What Ails You

Author: Rowaine (rowained@yahoo.com)

Fandom: BtVS

Rating: FRAOish. I think. Probably. Yeah, no way around it... even if Xanbaby
doesn't know better.

Summary: Everyone's got a kink or two -- Xander's was started by a misplaced
shopping bag and ambiguous instructions.

Warnings: Toy!kink, underage masturbation. Please note that Xander is not quite
13 yrs old in this prelude to the actual !verse. If this bothers you, skip to
the next part.

Pairings: None. (Eventually Spander)

Setting: Definitely AU... This first fic is pre-series.

Disclaimer: The characters and universe are Joss', but I seriously doubt he'd
claim credit for what I'm about to do to his boys.

Author's Note: The past couple of months have been hell around here. Besides
real life issues, I haven't been able to write a damned thing in far too long.
So, while I should be writing on my WIPs, this !verse idea popped into my head
and refused to be ejected. Gonna purge as much of it as possible to make room.

Author's Note v2: This is the first (and possibly last) time I have ever used
underage sexual activity (chan) in a story. It should be noted that I wouldn't
be doing so now except as a prelude to the actual storyline. While we, as
mature adults, understand the difference between fantasy and reality, the
following chapter in no way condones sexual congress with a minor, with or
without consent.

And for those of you who may not be familiar with legalese: There's a reason
why we have laws against having sex with kids. It can be quite damaging to
their psyche, their body, and their emotional maturity. But since no one is
having sex with Xan (other than his own hand and a toy), I don't feel nearly as
bad as I probably should. Just ask yourself when the first time you used any
external means to get off was -- if memory serves, I was about twelve or so
*lol* and the horny never went away!

Last but not least, I don't remember if Xander's birthday was ever revealed in
the series, but to me, he seems to be a solid Cancer. It's my story, and I'm
sticking to it.
                           A Cure for What Ails You
                                        
Summer, 1993

His stomach ached and his rear was so sore he couldn't keep up with Jesse and
Willow as they rode their bicycles down to the park. He knew it was his own
fault -- how many times had his mother warned him about eating too much cheese?
At the ripe old age of twelve (almost thirteen, just a few more weeks), he felt
way too embarrassed to ask for help.

Bike parked at the back door, he quietly crept inside the house, hoping not to
disturb his parents' Saturday afternoon binge. His legs stretched to avoid the
third and sixth stairs leading up to his room, the added twinge of discomfort
almost making him groan out loud. Inch by inch he closed his bedroom door,
listening carefully for signs that his parents had heard him return.

All he wanted to do was flop across his bed and whimper. Maybe read a comic
book or two. Take a nap even. Anything to take his mind off the painful
cramping and aching pressure in his gut. He toed off his shoes and socks, and
gingerly sat down on his bed... only noticing the small paper bag and folded
note when his head hit the pillow.

Xander,

You are old enough by now to know better, not that it's ever
kept you from over-indulging. Yes, I know who ate the two
blocks of colby cheese. No, I haven't told your father.

Since you are now old enough to take medicine by yourself,
you should also be able to use this remedy. Just follow the
instructions on the package and you should feel better in a
day or two. You might need to stay home tomorrow, but you'll
feel much better by Monday.

Mom

Xander gave a long sigh of relief. His mom might not win any awards for her
parenting skills, but she still made the effort. A closer look at the bag
offered no clues, and he wondered where she'd gone shopping. Almost every store
printed their logo on bags and boxes, right? He grunted away the random
curiosity, and upended the bag. Expecting to find a bottle of Pepto Bismal or
even shudder laxatives, his interest perked up at the oddly shaped package.

Shrink-wrapped to a piece of cardboard was a five inch length of plastic.
Purple plastic. Flexible purple plastic. With an odd flat section at one end
that had a hole at either side. He flipped over the strange package to find a
step-by-step set of instructions, with pictures and helpful suggestions. She
wants me to do that?! But how's it supposed to help with constipation? A
child's blind trust in his mother kept Xander from racing downstairs to ask
questions (plus the fact that he'd had to step over a pile of beer bottles on
his way up -- only badness ever came from disturbing his dad's weekend buzz).

Alright, let's look at this the logical way. Hey, wouldn't Wills be proud of
me? There's a tube of stuff to go along with... whatever this is. Something
called KY Jelly. "A personal lubricant." Huh. He put down the tube of slick
after testing a small dab between his fingers. Slippery. Guess she's serious
about this. Prizing the staples apart, he lifted the clear plastic away from
the purple thing and picked it up between thumb and forefinger. The package
says to use lots of lubricant to ease the way... Maybe this works like a grown-
up version of those icky sup- pill things she used last time.

Shuffling back to his door, Xander made sure it was locked and pulled down his
window shade, then blushed as he stripped out of both shorts and underwear. No
one, and I do mean no one will ever find out about this!

The Annoying Thing between his legs gave a twitch of interest as he climbed
back on his bed. He knew that it was just another part of growing up -- thanks
to the hell that was seventh grade Health class -- but so far he hadn't spent
too much time thinking about It. It was for older kids, with cars and
girlfriends and cool leather jackets. It was supposed to be so much fun, but
now so dangerous with all the STDs being spread around. And hey, I remembered
more than one thing from school this year.

Xander voted to ignore the tender swelling of his dick (even as his face flamed
from thinking the forbidden word). He plumped up his two pillows against the
headboard and leaned against them. Right, so the jelly... does it go on the
purple thing, or... down there? Oh. OH! On my fingers? I'm supposed to stick my
fingers up there?! Okay, this had better work, Mom.

As he re-opened the tube, one line drew his attention: "Too much is almost
enough." It made sense, considering that he was going to be pushing something
in an exit only place. Slippery was good. Like the orange-brown grease that got
everywhere but worked so well on rusty bicycle chains. And as long as I think
about it like that, maybe I can actually do this. Just greasing the kinks out,
right? Oh man, no one will ever find out about this!

A brief flash of worry flooded through him. How clean was he supposed to be
down there? But since the whole problem was that nothing was coming out, he
finally gave in with a sigh and coated two fingers. His eyes squeezed shut,
Xander spread his legs and prayed not to miss. It's my body. I should be able
to do this. Mom has enough faith in me to do this without her help, right?
Right! So suck it up, Xander, and let's do this.

He didn't know how bad his hands were shaking until his fingers brushed up
against his nuts. A shiver of sinful pleasure/shock ran down his spine at the
light contact. Wispy dark hair had only recently started growing over his high
scrotum, and the unfamiliar feeling of fuzz dragging across his hand caused
another thrill. He bit his lip, concentrating on his task, trying so very hard
to ignore the pleasant little tingles. More pressure from his fingers meant
less tickling, he hoped, so he pushed against the skin behind his balls. And
nearly flew off the bed.

Holy crap, what was that? There is no way this is supposed to feel so good!
It's like medicine, right? And yeah, so sometimes Mom will drink a whole bottle
of cough syrup for the alcohol, but medicine isn't supposed to feel good.
It's... it's... in the rule book somewhere!

As he argued with himself, Xander's fingers continued their careful prodding of
the tender skin, so slick now that one slipped between his buttocks, directly
across his anus. Nonononono must be doing something wrong so wrong sick in not
out but feels so good... Strokes both light and firm, testing the difference,
he was barely aware of how hard his untried erection had become.

And since stroking felt so nice, it only made sense to go farther. Too much is
almost enough. Gotcha. Here goes... Another healthy dollop of lube, knees bent
as far apart as he could stand, Xander felt around with one finger until he
located the crinkled opening and pushed... and promptly banged his head against
the headboard. How- wha- jeez, they never told us about this in Health class!
Wonder if Jesse knows... no, not going there, no way am I gonna explain this,
not even to my best bud!

His eyes flew open as he wiggled his fingertip just inside. The tight-so-tight
grip of his butthole nearly made his eyes cross -- strange, slightly scary
visions of what else might feel so good scittered through his mind at warp
speed, so quickly he could barely catch them. For all his twelve (almost
thirteen) years, and the quality information provided by the California
Department of Public Education, Xander had never considered the feelings
provoked by putting anything inside his body. Other than chocolate and twinkies
and soda.

With much more confidence, he pushed a bit harder until his entire finger was
inside, being squeezed and warmed and hugged by a part of his body he'd always
tried to ignore. It was much harder to wiggle with his hand at such an awkward
angle, and his lips jutted into a pout as he pulled halfway out. And moaned,
loudly. Adults are supposed to tell us about things like this! How to and why,
and how not to get hurt. But maybe it's because it feels so good... They wanna
be stingy and not spill, keep the goods to themselves. Ha! This'll show you old
farts, the Xanman can handle anythi---

His inner babble trailed off into outer huffs and soft moans. In and out, his
finger had kept moving throughout his private rant, a tempo that forced the
most interesting tingles up around his nuts. Clear, stringy drops of liquid
formed at the top of his dick, even though he didn't feel the need to pee. If
one finger feels this good, two can only get better. With lots of jelly.

A brief pause while he added more lubricant, then his fingers were back in
place. It burned just a little, pushing both past his crinkled hole, and the
fullness made his eyes cross. His hips lifted without permission, shifting the
angle just enough for the very end of his middle finger to brush against a
spongy patch... and a nova went off behind his eyes.

Oh fuuuu-- He couldn't manage to say it, even in his mind, even with his body
shaking from the force of such intense pleasure. He shoved his fingers in and
out, stabbing and poking, but only managed to touch that spot one more time.
Frustrated with his short digits, Xander rolled over and groaned into his
pillow, his hip landing on something cool. Doh, way to go, dummy. Let's forget
what started this.

The flexy purple plastic thing didn't look near as scary anymore. Actually, it
seemed like the best present ever. Longer than his fingers, with a nifty
handle, surely it could reach that spot, right?

He stayed on his side as he slicked up the plug, lifting his top leg to reach
between... but the angle wasn't good. Darn it, there's gotta be an easier way.
Huh. Can't reach it good from the front... try from the back? After a second
coat of slick applied with shaking hands, and an arched back, the plug slipped
inside with ease. His body seemed to want the invasion, sucking it in, right
against that spot.

In just a few minutes, Xander had found a rhythm that felt beyond wonderful,
into the realms of mind-blowing ecstasy. He barely noticed when his other hand
joined the fun, grabbing his leaky dick in the same tempo. Short flashes of
memory from Health class clued him in on the incredible pleasure he was feeling
-- climax, orgasm, coming, the release of semen through physical manipulation.
Whatever it is, I hope it never ends...

The plug pushed in and out, his hand flew across his erection, and he felt
something build deep inside. Burying his face in his pillow, Xander celebrated
his first orgasm with a muffled scream. He flopped onto his back and panted for
awhile, shifting his hips as tiny tremors prolonged the feeling of the plug
brushing against his inner walls.

Not sure how this is supposed to help me go to the bathroom, but wow! Sign me
up for another round.
                                     ~ * ~

The next morning, Jessica Harris remembered to look through her Friday night
purchases. Toiletries were dumped on the bathroom counter. Trash bags fell in
the vicinity of the kitchen. Suppositories? Those were meant for Xander, but
since he hadn't said anything, perhaps he no longer needed them. Now where was
her treat, hmm? Surely she hadn't dreamed that visit to the adult novelty
store...
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